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Birthday Vlogging

With sweaty palms and a pounding-but-open heart, I present to you my first video attempt in honor of my 33rd solar return!

Be Your Own Santa Claus

Welp, it’s officially the holiday season. How do I know? Because the other day I cried all the tears on the planet. No seriously, there was a veritable rainstorm of tears uncontrollably streaming out of my eyes for nearly the entire day. And no my friends, I’m NOT talking about ‘pretty crying’ where one or two tears quietly […]

Tug of War

Lately I have been experiencing an internal game of tug of war. A push-pull sort of battle where the concept of ‘self-acceptance’ has been muddied up by the powerful pull of conflicting desires. On the one hand… I crave awareness. I want Truth at all costs. I claw my way towards the world that is waiting […]

You Get What You Give

Have you ever found yourself thinking — “poor me, why don’t I have XY&Z?” (Yeah, me too.) Maybe you look around the world and see other people who seem to have what you want… Close heartfelt connections… Sentimental gifts… Loving family relationships… Direct honest communication… Or whatever else might be on your version of this list. […]

Nothing But Shitty First Drafts

Lately it’s been one shitty first draft after another. It has been exactly 20 days since I last hit publish — longer than I’ve gone without blogging since day one. I’m up to nearly 20 unpublished drafts of varying lengths and have jotted down notes for at least a dozen other ideas. It’s not that I haven’t […]

Fair Warning You Guys, I’m Just Gonna Get Weirder

For the last month or so I’ve found myself regularly throwing my hands up in the air and telling friends and family that “fair warning, I’m just gonna get weirder from here on out!” This phrase has been rolling off my tongue with a big smile, shake of the head, and shrug of the shoulders — as if […]

Owning My Shadow

{inspired by Zoe Quiney of the Rebelle Society} Yesterday morning I woke up overwhelmed by an immense sense of sadness, loneliness, and fear. The day prior a friend had said something seemingly innocuous to me that set off a domino-like pattern of thinking that inevitably leads to this dark place. I tried to use my […]

Enjoying the Moment!

You know those moments where it feels as though all of the moving pieces come together and click into place? The lightbulb-turning-on “ah-ha!” kind of moment? The moment where you stop trying so hard and (like clockwork) you find yourself realizing that the “it” you were seeking was there all along? Were afterward you feel […]

Happy Blogaversery! Celebrating One Year of Putting My ‘Secret Self’ Out There

I realized out of the blue this morning that it’s been an entire year since I nervously hit publish on that first Bekah Outside the Box blog post.  A whole year and 59 posts later, here I am still blogging, still putting my secret self out there into the Universe.  Who would have thought that this […]

Destruction, Desire and ‘Hostile Takeovers’

A few weeks ago Danielle LePorte posed the question: How do you feel about destroying what must be destroyed in your life? And to be perfectly honest, at first I was feeling resistant. Extremely. Resistant. Sure, the desire to change is strong. And it’s easy to identify habitual patterns and ways of being that served a purpose at one […]

The Practice of Showing Up

I’ve been thinking a lot about what it takes to “Show Up” this week because this gremlins in my head urging me to bail have been having a field day. Things I totally want to do, things I definitely don’t want to do, things that scare me, exciting stuff … it doesn’t matter. My inner gremlins, […]

You’re Gonna Hear Me Roar

You guys! Fair warning that I’m about to get a little woo woo. I also just quoted Katy Perry. So, with those two facts in mind, you can decide for yourself whether you want to read any further. (Thanks for reading further.) This weekend I took a mini-road trip to attend an out-of-town yoga workshop with a […]

Turn Your World Upside Down

My childhood was consumed with large quantities of time spent walking around on my hands. I adored being upside down and did gymnastics for many years. Kick up, fall down. Kick up, fall down. Kick up, fall down. I repeated this over and over and over again, loving every second of the process. Until one […]

Tapas, not the Spanish kind

Tapas is a Sanskrit word meaning “to burn” that — in the context of Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras — is often described as “fiery discipline.”  What does that mean, you ask? Tapas is that well of passion simmering deep inside of you that keeps you going when the going gets tough. Tapas lights a fire underneath your ass and gets […]

How to NOT Let the Stress Monsters Eat You Alive: Self Care for Stressful Times

You might say that this month has been stressful. And I don’t mean the normal everyday flavor of stress… oh no! I’m referring to that extra-special, keep-you-up-at-night brand of stress that makes you want to crawl underneath your desk and curl up in the fetal position. (And yes, I know you know exactly what I’m talking about, because we’ve […]

It’s YOUR Practice

From the very first time I stepped onto a mat at It’s All Yoga, my inner dialogue before each practice has been largely the same: I thank myself for moving away from the computer and off the couch. I recognize that simply by walking through the studio doors, I’ve done something kind and loving. I remind myself […]

The Universe Works in Mysterious Ways

I’m not typically a big fan of “the woo woo stuff” (as Michelle, my teacher and friend, calls it), but lately I’ve been thinking that the Universe — while mysterious — must have some sort of larger plan in mind. I see glimpses of it in nature: the complex system through which plants convert the sun’s rays into […]

We Have What We Need

So, I was having a full on pity party the other night. It went something like: Poor me! {Fill in the blank} hasn’t happened. What’s wrong with me? Why are other people getting x, y, and z, but I’m not? I must not be good enough. I must not deserve it. Maybe if I try […]

Maybe You Can: An Ode to Being Wrong

Have you ever been 100% convinced that you couldn’t do something, only to find out that you were 100% wrong?  The other day I took the day off from work and spent the morning practicing yoga with a friend. We came in with a semi-plan (we were headed towards going upside down), but mostly we […]

What You Focus On Expands

This week I did the Peel’d Juice Cleanse. Ok ok, let’s be honest — I didn’t so much as “cleanse,” but rather I drank a lot of juice and ate other food too. See, I lasted exactly one-and-three-quarter days with the whole no meat, dairy, soy, wheat, beans, refined sugar (and so on and so […]

100+ Degree Weather & A Reminder that I’m Not In Charge

It’s been hot in Sacramento this week. No, I mean like really. hot. [See photo evidence above. Not kidding.] It’s so hot that I’ve taken up residence in the living room, to be closer to this contraption: Which, despite being louder than a race car, can barely keep up with my cooling needs, so my apartment is […]

You Write the Story

Have you ever said to yourself — “Who, me? I could never do that!“ Yeah, me too. In fact, it’s been my go-to self-limiting statement for years. Who, me? I could never: Dance like I don’t care who is watching. Fly solo to an event, movie, or dinner out. Survive a night without television or my iPhone to keep […]

The Waiting Game

Last week I did a whole bunch of teaching yoga. Well, to be entirely accurate, I co-taught a class on Friday, did a private lesson on Saturday, and taught a class on Tuesday. While teaching 3x probably doesn’t actually qualify as a “whole bunch,” it felt like a lot. A. Whole. Lot. Okay okay, if we’re being totally honest, I was […]

Help! Blogger Identity Crisis In Progress

I’m having a blogger identity crisis.  Over the past week I have started and scrapped at least 5 blog posts: + I’ve been jamming out to music at work and home even more than usual lately, so I considered sharing my current playlist (it might still happen). + I co-taught a yoga class last Friday and […]

Am I A Yoga Teacher Fraud?

The other day I was working on yoga school homework — writing my teaching bio (the sort of thing that might someday go on one of these pages) — and I had this fleeting, but intense moment of panic: Me, a yoga teacher? In your dreams! Who would ever buy that? See, the thing is: I […]

The Open Secret

I’ve got a confession to make: I was pretty bummed out in the week leading up to my birthday. Not so much about my birthday itself (I like birthdays!), but rather the fact that it called attention to other aspects of my life that are not 100% how I’d like them to be. Relationships that […]

Happy Birthday To Me!

So, today’s my birthday! (I know, it kind of snuck up on me too.) Lately I’ve been doing a lot of pensive thinking about life — where I came from, what I’ve learned, where I’m headed — big heady subjects, right? And between it being my birthday, the impending end of yoga teacher training, changes […]

When All Else Fails, You Could Try Being Yourself

Two words: Online. Dating. (I know, probably not what you thought I was going to say.) I’m fairly certain that nothing on earth could possibly inspire someone to want to embellish or exaggerate more than online dating. It is simply impossible not to feel compelled to try to convey that “yes, of course, I most certainly […]

We’re Not Done Yet

About two weeks ago I had a conversation with Michelle about my concerns regarding the teacher training program, which can be summed up as follows: I’m scared that our time together will end and I still won’t feel as though I have found my voice. I told Michelle: I feel like I might not getting […]

Finding Some Ease Around “The Tough Stuff” With A Bit of Everyday Gratitude

So, I’ve been feeling a lot this week, which is honestly uncomfortable for me. And I’ve had a whole bunch of emotion-provoking material to work with (read: there is some tough life stuff happening). Work-related stressors are plentiful, a good friend moved away, my grandmother’s health took a turn for the worse, there is an abundance […]

I Come To My Mat To Feel

Tight. Gripping. Always right (or completely silent). In control. In balance. Wanting things to look a certain way. Striving. Succeeding. Intimidating. Feeling superior. Wanting to manage people, situations, everything. Doing what I am supposed to do. Getting it right. I am these things, though I do not relish admitting this to you (or to myself). […]

Being The Teacher

Turns out my “day job” (higher ed administrator) is more helpful with teaching yoga than I originally thought. “Huh, what is she talking about?…” you’re probably asking right about now. I know, I didn’t see it at first either. Imagine these two scenarios: Scenario #1 — You work at a law school in student affairs […]

Sometimes You Need a Swift Kick in the Ass

Recently I went out to dinner with a good friend who knows me well enough to read between the lines of what I am saying, and is forthright enough to directly call me out on my stuff. It’s a great combination. As we caught each other up about everything that had happened (or not happened) […]

Fresh Baked Cinnamon Walnut Chocolate Chip Cookies

Sometimes I get so caught up in thinking about all of the things that I am lacking, that I completely forget to pause and appreciate all that I do have. It’s part of the human condition, I think: we’re trained to want more. More money, more time, more food, more things, more appreciation, more connection — just […]

A Whole New Perspective on Relationships

Every once in a while something happens — you hear something, you read something, you think something — and boom your perspective irrevocably shifts. I had one of those moments last weekend during teacher training when we listened to Ajahn Amaro’s (a Buddhist monk) Dharma Talk about relationships and sexuality. For the two weeks prior, we had been studying […]

Meditation: One Breath at a Time

Have you ever tried to sit and be present for 10 minutes? For that matter, have you ever tried to take 10 consecutive deep breathes, without getting distracted? Well, if not, let me tell you: it’s hard. No, like REALLY. HARD. Meditation 101 During yoga teacher training this past weekend, we discussed meditation with Alicia (one of […]

A Willingness To Be Seen

Last Tuesday I attended an event where I saw a bunch of people I had not seen for six months or more. And during the event I received compliment after compliment about how I looked, compared to the last time they had seen me. {I should probably disclose a few relevant things at this point: […]

Impatiently Practicing Patience

They say patience is a virtue, but I suppose they never said it would be easy. Ever since teacher training started, I have been finding myself consumed with impatience: (Foot taping) Alright, am I someone different yet? Ok, I’m ready for my perfect home yoga practice to magically appear!  (Fidgeting) This sitting thing… can’t it […]

The Sticky Space In Between

A few months ago the lovely Michelle taught a yoga class where she talked about “the sticky space in between.” The idea was something along these lines: You’re not quite where you started, but you’re not yet to the next destination. Things are changing, it’s uncomfortable, and and you will likely feel inclined to rush through as […]

Restorative Yoga and Taming My Inner Teenager

While in a recent restorative yoga class with the wonderful Tami Hackbarth I realized something: restorative yoga is kind of like boot camp training for my brain to help prepare me to successfully spend time with my family (or to do other potentially temper tantrum-inducing activities). Whhhhat? Restorative yoga … boot camp … has she lost her marbles? Well, […]