I’ve been thinking a lot about what it takes to “Show Up” this week because this gremlins in my head urging me to bail have been having a field day. Things I totally want to do, things I definitely don’t want to do, things that scare me, exciting stuff … it doesn’t matter. My inner gremlins, the ones rooted in fear and shame, have been oh-so-busy feeding me lines like:
“Eek, scary, don’t go there!”
“Stay home, you’re not wanted.”
“Why try if you know that you’ll fail?”
“You’re not worth it.”
Maybe your gremlins sing a similar tune?
But here’s the thing: There’s something to be said for just Showing Up. Choosing to arrive and be physically and mentally present. On the good days, on the difficult days, and on the days in between.
Showing Up is not always pretty. But then again, life isn’t always pretty. Yet Showing Up doesn’t always have to be difficult. (Heck, sometimes it might even be fun!)
Sometimes you will Show Up for other people — friends, family, co-workers, complete strangers. Other times you will Show Up for yourself — tuning in and taking care of numero uno. Both are important.
At times Showing Up will be easy. You’ll feel inspired, excited. On those days you will not merely show up, but you will arrive with a fanfare, arms outstretched, ready to embrace the moment with gusto. Other times every fiber of your being will scream, “let me hide, I don’t want to be seen!” And sometimes you will listen because it’s only natural.
But even though sometimes you will no-show, and you’ll have moments where it seems as though you failed to show up one too many times, there will always be another opportunity. Another chance to Show Up is always waiting in the wings. Look for it and it will be there.
What did showing up look like for me this week?
- I taught a yoga class, knowing full well that I’m a newbie teacher and that I’m still finding my groove and getting my teacher feet underneath me.
- I went to work on Monday morning with a smile on my face and an “I’m ready to tackle today” attitude, even though I knew the day would be a doozy.
- I danced with a friend, and confronted the fact that my instinct was to count down the minutes waiting for it to be over.
- I listened to some of a friend’s story and shared some of my own.
- I went grocery shopping so that I could make myself meals at home this week, which I know feels more nourishing than eating take-out night after night.
- I got on my meditation cushion, even though it had been nearly two weeks since I last managed to sit.
Showing Up is not always the easy option. Like any other practice (yoga, meditation, teaching, medicine, law…) it takes strength, tenacity, and courage to choose to Show Up again and again. And I can’t promise that just because you Show Up, things will be awesome, in fact, sometimes it will be the opposite. But nonetheless, what I can promise you is that sometimes the best answer is “F*CK IT, I’M JUST GONNA SHOW UP ANYWAY!”
So with that in mind, I’m curious: how will you show up this week?