I’m having a blogger identity crisis.
Over the past week I have started and scrapped at least 5 blog posts:
+ I’ve been jamming out to music at work and home even more than usual lately, so I considered sharing my current playlist (it might still happen).
+ I co-taught a yoga class last Friday and I thought about sharing the sequence we put together (with pictures and everything! … it might still happen).
+ In fact, I’ve been teaching a whole lot of yoga — Friday, Saturday, Tuesday, next Sunday … seeds I planted over the past several months have taken root and opportunities to teach abound. I’m exploring the edges of my teaching comfort zone with respect to the quantity of teaching gigs I can handle each week, the style/intensity I want to offer, language I want to use, adjustments I feel comfortable making … eventually these explorations will bubble up into a coherent blog post, but I’ll probably be in the messy exploratory stage for a while.
+ My home yoga practice has been awesome (not always the case) — almost daily I’ve been throwing down my mat and messing around, and LOVING IT. I’ve taken a break from planning out my home practices and instead I am reveling in spontaneity and fluidity … going with the flow of my own current, you might say. Again, eventually there will be a blog post here, but right now it’s messy and inchoate.
+ In addition to teaching and practicing yoga, I’ve been been enjoying my post-teacher training freedom by planning bowling and hiking outings, making arrangements to attend a music festival, making summer and fall travel plans, and watching lighthearted summer blockbuster movies like this one (loved it!) … awesomely fun stuff is in the works, but not exactly compelling blogging material.
Heck, I almost scrapped this blog post earlier today.
So, what is going on?
Maybe I’m just currently filling my days with more living and less time in front of a computer screen.
Maybe this is a case of writer’s block. Without a constant series of writing prompts from yoga school, it’s entirely up to me to figure out what to blog about.
Maybe this is fear. Without being able to hide behind the “my teacher told me to write about this” excuse, it’s just me exposing my vulnerable self on the internet. What if I do something different (share a playlist or yoga sequence, for example) and y’all don’t like it … then what?
Maybe this is an opportunity. I decided to live wholeheartedly and blogging authentically is a big part of that. Maybe it’s time for me to consider stepping outside of my bekahoutsidethebox box and exploring some new territory…
Maybe it’s all of the above (and probably some other stuff I didn’t even contemplate).
Now that I’ve copped to my identity crisis, what do I do next? Nothing, I think! Well, nothing aside from continuing to sit down and write, and write, and write, and write some more. Maybe we’ll both be surprised by what ultimately comes out…